Wednesday August 5th.
Sad. It’s a small word but it can mean a whole heap of things. Sad. It can mean you’re just a tiny bit sad that it’s raining outside or it can mean your whole world is crumbling around you. Sad. That’s how I feel today.
I don’t really know why I feel sad, I’ve not done anything especially different to the other days of dog sitting to make me feel a little down. Sometimes you don’t need a reason to be sad, it just happens. Being sad annoys me because I’m sad a lot of the time, and I can almost never explain why.
I guess I just feel really lonely today, I feel totally isolated. I’m in the same place I’ve been since Saturday but we’re over half way now and I think it’s just getting to me. Someone from church text me this afternoon saying that someone else from church lived near where I was dog sitting. They said I should go and drop in. If I could leave the dog, then I would.
I don’t think it helps that it’s the school summer holidays so when I go and take the dog out, I see families and it makes me miss my family even more. I mean, I’m going to be seeing both my sisters in a few weeks (if I have enough money) and I’m psyched but that’s in a few weeks. I love Aber, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I wish I could go back to Banbury for the holidays. But then I think that Aber is home, Aber is where my friends are, Aber is where my church family are. Banbury will always be there.
The dog has certainly picked up on me being a little down today, right now he’s sleeping on top of my feet. His head has been on my lap for most of the afternoon. Animals really pick up on human emotions. I really feel sorry for the dog because he’s experienced me freak out, seen me full of life on Skype to Bible study, seen me sad…I bet he can’t wait for me to leave.
Half way through. That’s what I keep telling myself, that I’m halfway through. Soon I won’t have to wake up at 8am to feed the cat. I won’t have to defrost some pig or cow heart for the dog. I’ll have constant internet and phone signal. Soon, I can be in the safety of my own home.