A question I get asked by a lot of people is why I have faith. Why do you have faith after your mum died? Why do you have faith after the bad start you had in life? Why do you have faith with your mental health issues? Why do you have faith? And it is a fair enough question, a completely fair and understandable question and I hope to try and answer that question in this blog. Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been easy – I have wanted to give up on faith a lot. When I say a lot, it is no understatement: I promise. However, there is a reason I kept believing. A reason I kept the faith, a reason that is beyond all human comprehension.
There are a number of reasons why I have faith, not a testimony, but reasons that I can see in the world around me. Reasons that I know to be true without them having any sort of direct effect on my life. So let me bullet point them for you, because I’ll probably section this blog so you can only read the bit you want. My reasons for having faith (among many others) are:
- The world is beautiful
- Everything happens for a reason
- I am loved
- Part of something bigger
- God’s in control
- Never alone
Only a few reasons to have faith when the whole’s falling apart around you then! I’m going to lie to you, over the years I have struggled with having faith even though I know all of the above are true. Shall I crack on?
The world is beautiful
Just take a moment to stop what you’re doing, look out of the window. Turn off your music or TV. Pause and look and listen at the world God created. When I look out of my window all I see is houses and grotty streets but down the road is the sea, I hear the seagulls and the wind. There is silence. The world is beautiful and God created all of that. I don’t know what your view of creation is and to be perfectly honest with you, I’m not the best person to have a creation debate with but all I know is, however the earth was created: God did it. Living in Wales I have the privilege of lots of countryside and it reminds me of God’s glory, the mighty power, the loving hand. When the weather is nice I will go and sit on a bench facing the sea and remind myself of the glory of God’s creation. I have faith because the world is beautiful. I have faith because God created this gorgeous world which upon we walk.
Everything happens for a reason / God’s in control
These two go hand in hand, I can’t talk about one without the other so excuse me whilst I lump these together. This is where I have struggled the most and where all my friends question me. The truth is, everything does happen for a reason. The easiest way for me to describe this is to use a Satnav metaphor. God is the driver and He inputs the end destination but along the way we take wrong turns and get lost but we always make it back to the path we’re supposed to be following. Does that make sense? In my life there has been a lot of stuff that I question why God let it happen. Why did my mum die? Why was I put into care? Why does all the bad stuff always happen to me? Because if it didn’t happen, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I was such a horrible person this time last year, I’m the first to admit it, but those things happened to make me the person people want to hang out with now. I haven’t been able to do anything in my life without God. He is most definitely in control, He knows what is to come. That’s what annoys me sometimes, I like to know what’s going on and I like to have some control but with God, I have none. I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow because God wants me to live for today and not tomorrow or next week or next year: but today.
I am loved.
I am loved by the mightiest father you could ever imagine. I am loved beyond all human love. I am loved so much that He sent his Son to die for me. I don’t think there is any human alive who would do that. I know I wouldn’t. I am loved by the person who knew me before I was even born, He has great plans for me, He knows what is going to happen. I’m not going to lie to you, I have felt unloved by God before but that is because I was using other people’s un-love for me and putting it on God. He never stops loving us, don’t forget that.
Part of something bigger
We are part of something bigger than our human lives as we know them. We are a part of God’s plan. Isn’t that amazing? Everyone has different gifts to give to this bigger plan, everyone is a part of it. We’re not alone, isn’t that cool?
We are never alone. I had to leave the previous section otherwise I would have written this section in there and that would have been bad. We are never, ever alone. He is always with us, He never leaves us…that’s something I’ve struggled with before. When I’ve felt so alone and I’ve had no one to turn to, it’s felt like God isn’t there…it’s because I’m not paying attention: He is there. Always has been, always will be. When I have been in my darkest spells and not wanting to live on, I remember (after all the crying and swearing and anger) that God is with me. That Jesus died for me. I live on trying to spread the word that we are never alone, Jesus died for us and God loves us.
I hope you can see why I have faith without me telling you what God has done in my life, that’s another blog post in the making. However, all of these things I know to be true. Sure, it may have taken many years for me to know that they are true but I know that they are true now. I know that I am loved, I am never alone. God created the earth in all its glory. Whether you are a Christian or not, just look at the world around you and think about its creation. Whether you think of it from a scientific, geographical point of view or not, think about the creation. Look back at your life and see if there are moments in your life that seem a little odd, where things shouldn’t have worked but they did. Just go looking, you might discover something beautiful.