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With or Without You

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately on my life, which is both concerning and enlightening, however as I have been reflecting on life and the world around me; I realised something monumental. I really have the greatest friends anybody could ask for. I wrote a very similar blog post to this in May/June on the day of my last exam of first year but a lot can happen in *quick maths* six months. All you have to do is look at the last couple of blog posts to see what I’ve been getting up too.

As I said at the beginning of my last blog post about Friends (which if you haven’t read click this link: https://mynameis2long.wordpress.com/2014/05/22/f-r-i-e-n-d-s/ ) I’ve never been one of the popular crowd, never been one getting loads of texts or Facebook messages. I’ve never been one to go out willingly or to talk to people or to step out of my comfort zone. I’ve never been one of those people who manages to keep people close because experience has taught me to push everyone away. But, as I said; a lot can happen in six months. Last year I had about ten friends, if that. That’s because I did very little, I knew people but no one was really a friend, and I stayed in my room on the internet almost 24/7. This year however, I have more than ten friends: yay! I have done things where I have made incredibly close friends or developed friendships that were there already.

The last couple of weeks have been very intense in the life of Louise. Okay, every week is intense in the life of Louise but the last couple of weeks have been more intense than usual. It was a ‘National Hug Louise’ day (which is a different story), I’ve been very down, uni has been stressing me out and I have had more freak outs than I have had in a very long time. Last year, I went through all of these things alone but this year? I have friends I can call upon to give me hugs or bring me cups of tea or make me laugh… I don’t know where I would be without them. And me being me, won’t tell them how much they mean to me to their faces. When I’m in bed crying, calling out to God for help, I am so unbelievably thankful and grateful that every single one of them is in my life. Christian and non-Christian. In Aber or out of Aber. New friends or old friends. Every single one. I don’t know where I would be without them. And I’d like this to be another selfish blog post if that’s okay with you, to thank all of these people who I will never say it to their faces because I’m too goddamn awkward and anxious. Similar to my last blog post about friends, I can’t include everybody so these are the people who I just really want to say a massive thank you too. It’s not that I don’t love every single one of you, I do, but these guys have done such a lot for me!

Anna: My best friend from across the world. I know that we have never met in person and that makes me sad but one day we will. You never fail to put a smile on my face and even when you’re going through your own problems, you still take the time to listen to me and sort me out even when mine are tiny compared to yours. I’m so thankful that the internet brought us together, thankful that God placed you in my life for a reason. I know that one day we will meet and we will get on like a house on fire – whether it’s me flying to you or you (for some unknown reason) coming over here. But I love you, and I’m so glad that you’re still breathing and fighting.

Anna R: Anna, Anna, Anna. Where to I begin with you? We’re too similar for our good. In some ways that is a good thing yet in other ways it isn’t so much. I’m not complaining because I am so grateful and thankful that you’re in my life. We’ve grown closer since mission week…no before that, your engagement. That’s when we really became close and whether that’s because of your other half (who’s going to get his own paragraph) or because of other things but that doesn’t matter. Thank you for making me smile and listening and offering me a floor to sleep on. Thank you for making me stressed tea and offering all the hugs. I’m so happy that you are in my life and I hope that once you’re married and after we’ve left Aber, we will continue to be close. Otherwise I might cry.

Becca D: I can’t quite believe that we’ve only really been friends for about three months. We knew each other before hand but we weren’t friends. I was talking to someone a while ago and they asked me how long I had been friends with you and I said ‘only since September’ and they didn’t believe me. I’m so happy we are friends and that you only live down the road. I still want to get to know you better and spend more time with you but seeing your smiley, bubbly face makes me smile no-matter how rubbish I’m feeling inside. After ‘avoiding’ each other for most of last year I’m glad we both know we exist now!! I hope and pray that continues and that God will bless your life in Aber and out of it, and I thank Him that you are in my life.

Musketeers: The decision to lump you all together wasn’t taken lightly. This way I don’t feel so awkward having to talk about you…sorry guys, but I’m sure you’ll pick up on which one of you (if you’re even reading this) I’m talking about. But firstly, why are you called the Musketeers? At first, you were referred to as ‘the boys’ but everyone assumed I was talking about Rhys etc. so I had to come up with another collective name for you. So you became the Musketeers, because there are three of you and you’re always in close proximity to each other! I hope you don’t mind…you’d better not because it’s become a thing! Anyway, not the point. Thanks guys. For everything. I can always count on you for hugs and love and just being plain awesome. Thank you for coming around at eleven at night to give me a hug (and cake). Thank you for constantly asking if I’m okay. Thank you for walking me home, I really appreciate it. Thank you for allowing me to text you at stupid o’clock at night (well the two of you that I have numbers for!) when I’m freaking out. I’m sorry for making things awkward, a lot of the time, but thank you that things are better than they ever have been now. I don’t know what I would do without you (cheesy I know, sorry) and I wish I had met you lot sooner than I did but God has a plan and mission week was definitely at a very interesting point in my life. My mum would have loved you guys.

Mark: Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark. Where do I start with you?! Thank you. You’ve done a lot for me over the short space of time we’ve known each other which is ridiculous. You’ve made me cry in public, a few times, but the end result has always been better. Thank you for surrounding me in hugs when I need them, or even when I don’t. Thank you for making me laugh about ridiculous things…you know what I’m talking about there. I’m so thankful and grateful that I’m your friend. We would never have met if it hadn’t been for your lovely (now) fiancé but I’m glad that we have our own friendship. I hope and pray that once you graduate and marry and start your own life, that we would stay as close as we are now because who am I going to go to when people step over the line?! Thank you Mark, for everything.

Jess: It’s funny to think that we’ve only really been friends since July. Our friendship has blossomed so quickly and has grown so strong but I’m not complaining! We both have our issues yet we balance each other out. Our late night phone calls which last for over an hour most times, our hug wars on Facebook…I’m so, so, so, so, thankful that you’re in my life. And I’m so proud of where you’ve come in the time you’ve been in Newport. I just know that God is going to do amazing things in you and with you and I’m really excited to see that. I know that I’m really bad at asking for help and hugs but you always seem to know when I need them, and I hope that I know when you need hugs or love. Thank you for texting people when I can’t do it myself, thank you for making me smile and laugh, thank you for everything. I love you so much Jess, don’t ever leave me!

There are so many more people that I want to write paragraphs for but this is already quite a long blog post… without these guys I don’t know where I would be. Probably in a worse place than I am now. Pretty much all of these guys are ‘new friends’ yet we are so close and I thank God for them every single day. I know that I can be a pain and a cow and make things awkward yet they’ve all stuck around. And I hope they stay for a long time.

Love you guys.

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